Bible Burning

It has come to my attention that Pastor Terry Jones of the Dove Outreach Center has decided to declare March 20th, 2011 as "International Burn A Koran Day". Though he claims to say it was "Judge a Koran" day, we all know that his predetermined bias is that he believes that the Koran, and all of Islam, is evil, therefore we knew that the day would end with a burned book. He claims that there was a trial in which he found the Koran "guilty", though how a book could be guilty of any crime is beyond me, but I'm very certain that the odds were against the poor book, and it didn't even stand a chance. I mean, how could it, when the judge was already corrupted.

He has already attempted this stunt once before. We will all remember that last year he declared that September 11th would be the original "Burn a Koran Day", but he decided not to go through with the stunt at the behest of several world governments. They knew that the stunt would result in riots that could lead to the deaths of UN members stationed throughout Muslim communities. One would think that he got the message.

So far, over twenty deaths have been reported in Afghanistan from resulting riots that are claimed to have been caused by Pastor Jones' Koran burning.

When I first heard about Pastor Jones' intentions, I believed that no one person had any right to deface or destroy another person's holy text, because it was a cornerstone of their faith, and as such should be respected. Today, my views have changed. Today, I believe that anyone who demeans another person's faith deserves and should allow his own faith to be challenged.

Today, I burned a bible.

I walked into my campus bookstore and bought myself an off-the-shelf copy of the King James Bible.

I then recruited a friend of mine, an Eagle Scout who happened to be handy with campfires, to assist with the burning. We then decided to place the book itself on "trial" for its crimes. Here, I will admit to my own ignorance when it comes to the information (or misinformation if you will) contained in the Bible. I'm a Pagan, see, and I don't remember much from my days when I was a young and foolish sheep (read: Southern Baptist). But no worries. Eagle Scout here is also handy with the internet, and I'm pretty good at reading, so we're covered. How shall we judge this book? Let's see, I hate genocide, violence, gender inequality, slavery, and egotistical jerks. These are things that most people can agree upon being morally dubious, so lets tic them off one by one.

We find our first qualification in Genesis 6:4- And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.


Well, you can't get more genocidal than KILLING EVERYTHING ON THE FREAKING PLANET. Seriously. Everything with a bleeping flood. Most people can agree that murdering people is a bad thing, therefore, most people would also agree that murdering every living thing is a pretty dick move. 


Next on the list is violence, and here we find an excellent example in Deuteronomy 7:2-And when the LORD thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them. 


Uh, okay... Basically God just told me to kill everyone he "sends" to me without mercy, or negotiation. Yes, I'm aware that the context of the verse relates to the seven nations greater than his chosen people, but still. Killing everyone wasn't enough to make people perfect, and we can't do a total system reset again, so lets have the followers do the killing for us, shall we? Yeah, no. Again: Killing=BAD. Only this time, man can do it and it's justified in the name of the Lord. Awesome.

Now we move along to something I can relate to: Gender Inequality. Surprisingly, I know enough of the bible to have a favorite example of this crime. It's in Timothy 2:12- But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.


Yeah, try that line with any feminist. See how far that gets you. I'm not allowed to have an opinion, and if I manage to have one, I can't give it to anyone else. Fabulous. I don't know about you, but I like equal rights. Thank you America. 


Now we have a big one, slavery, which can be found in, well, everywhere in Leviticus. It's pretty much a manual of how to live a holy life, and rules concerning how slaves should be bought, sold, and treated. I don't care who you are, or where you come from, if you own a slave and consider yourself to be better than him, you are a disgusting creature not worthy of being called a human being. This is not a system that works in modern times.

Finally, I cannot stand egotistical jerks, and I found this right there in the first commandment-I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; Do not have any other gods before me.


Seriously? First of all, you're gonna brag about bringing me out of slavery, even though you condone it in other cases, and then you're going to tell me that, in a polytheistic society, I can't worship other gods? What, are you jealous? Am I going to walk into a temple and you're going to beat the crap out of me just because I have blood left over on my hands from a sacrifice for another god? Well, first of all, I'm not gonna start a relationship with a wife beater who can't get over his masculinity issues long enough to let me pick out who I wanna chill with. 


I could go on about everything else wrong about the bible, but that would take far too long. Besides, we've already hit upon my qualifications for conviction, therefore, I find the Bible GUILTY of all crimes, and the punishment shall be to be burned. 

See? The fire's already started. 

And now, without further ado, I cast the condemned to its fate of the fire. 

Out of all the photos we took of my little escapade, this is my favorite. We can't help but see the serpent in the flames, joining us as we cast out the evils of ignorance and inviting us to gather all knowledge that we can of the world around us, to understand its mysteries and secrets.





This wouldn't be the first time I've burned paper. I like to make a habit of burning old class notes in my fireplace when I'm certain I'll never ever need them again, because I'm bored and I like to watch fires as they burn. I've always admired the way that stacks of paper burn...

... especially in the way the edges curl black around the text. 

To me, its like watching the petals of a flower gently unfold for all to admire its beauty. And there is beauty in a burning book, in the leafs of pages as they rise up, being consumed by the fire and turning into pale sheets of ash to rise into the sky amongst the dancing flames.

What did I hope to accomplish with this today? Well, for starters, I want people to think. I want people to wonder what gives them any right to any sense of superiority, and the right to hold themselves above the world to judge it. I want people to wonder if following a book with outdated rules and bigotry is such a great idea. But most of all, I want to make a point. If anyone believes that he has a right to take another person's holy book to be judged and burned, then I have the exact same right. 

Pastor Jones, I have the pleasure of presenting you with the burned and charred remains of the Christian Bible, which was found guilty of suspected crimes according to my own personal creed and dogma: 

I'd like to thank all of you for joining me on this little line-crossing journey, and if you've read this far, I hope I've made some small dent in the ideals that America seems so proud of. The blocks we are using to build our castles are broken, and one day, we will reap the consequences of that. If you consider the events if Afghanistan, one would say that we are already paying the price. 

I wish peace for all of you. Goodnight. 

-BB